Menstruation

Menstruation and your preteen daughter. How to talk about periods and puberty? Most girls begin to menstruate when they’re 12 or 13, but a first period can occur as early as age 9. That’s why explaining menstruation early is so important. But menstruation is an awkward subject to talk about — especially with preteen girls, who seem to get embarrassed more easily than any other creatures on the planet. So what’s the best way to approach this ticklish topic?

Talk early and often
The issues involved range from basic hygiene to fear of the unknown, so don’t try to cover everything in one big talk. Too much information at one time can be overwhelming for your daughter. Spread it out into many smaller conversations, instead.

This is the same approach recommended for talking to your children about sex. Even toddlers have questions about sex. You should answer these questions honestly, while tailoring the message to the maturity level of your child. So the “big talk” about the birds and the bees is actually a continuing conversation over many years.

Talking about menstruation is just another piece of that continuing conversation. But don’t wait until your daughter asks about menstruation before you begin talking about it. She needs good information about the menstrual cycle and all the other changes that puberty brings. If other children are her only sources of information, she may hear some nonsense and take it for fact.

How to start talking
To introduce the subject of menstruation, you might want to ask your daughter what she already knows about the changes of puberty. It may be helpful to time your conversations with the health lessons and sex education your daughter is receiving in school. Asking what she already knows will also help you clarify any misinformation.

Or you could broach the subject during the week or so before a routine doctor’s appointment. You can tell your daughter that she’s now at an age where the doctor may ask her whether she’s started menstruating. From there, you can ask if she has any questions or concerns about getting her first period.

What is menstruation?
Menstruation means a girl’s body is mature enough to become pregnant. Each month, one of the ovaries releases a ripe egg, which makes its way to the uterus. This event is called ovulation. For several days before ovulation, the ovaries and other glands secrete hormones that thicken the lining of the uterus. These changes in the uterine lining prepare the uterus for pregnancy.

But if ovulation takes place and the egg isn’t fertilized, the extra uterine lining isn’t needed. Falling hormones make the uterine lining break down into the mixture of blood and tissue shed through the vagina during a menstrual period.

Practical advice preferred
Most girls are more interested in practical information about menstruation, not just the biology involved. They want to know when it’s going to happen, what it’s going to feel like and what they’ll need to do when the time comes.

When will it happen?
No one can tell exactly when a girl will get her first period, but there are clues that can act as early warning signals. Typically, girls begin menstruating about two years after their breasts begin to grow. In the months before their first periods, many girls experience a thick, white discharge from their vaginas.

Will it hurt?
Many women have cramps with their periods. Typically, menstrual cramps occur in the lower abdomen, but the pain sometimes spreads to or originates in the back or thighs. Cramps can be dull and achy or sharp and intense, but they usually last only a day or two. A hot bath, heating pad or hot water bottle may help ease the discomfort. Pain relievers like ibuprofen (Advil, Motrin, others) and naproxen (Aleve, others) also can help.

What if I’m at school?
Girls will feel more prepared if they can carry a pad or tampon with them in their backpacks or purses. Most girls feel more comfortable starting with pads. Many school bathrooms have coin-operated dispensers for these products. The school nurse also may have supplies.

Everybody’s different
Your daughter may worry that she’s not normal if she doesn’t start having periods when the rest of her friends do. Once she starts having periods, she may worry that her periods aren’t like those of her friends. But menstruation varies with the individual.

For example, some girls have periods that last for two days, while others have periods that last more than a week. It can even vary this drastically from month to month in the same girl. The amount of blood lost each month varies, too — ranging from a few tablespoons to a half cup.

It’s also common for a girl to have very irregular periods during the first year or two after she begins menstruating. Once your daughter’s cycle settles down, you can teach her how to keep a log of her periods, which will help her predict the next occurrence.

Tell her to let you know if her periods last longer than 10 days or are exceptionally painful or heavy. She may need to see a doctor. You should also seek medical advice if she hasn’t started menstruating by age 16 or if she’s gone six months without a period.

Single fathers of preteen girls
Most girls prefer to learn about menstruation from a female family member. However, more and more children are growing up in families where the single parent is their father. Some have no contact with their mothers at all.

Puberty can be an especially tricky time for communication between fathers and daughters. Fathers naturally become more sensitive to their maturing daughters’ privacy, and girls become more modest. As a result, father and daughter draw away from each other. When the father is the only parent in a girl’s life, this mutual avoidance puts her at risk of reaching puberty without knowing about menstruation.

While some fathers may feel comfortable talking to their daughters about menstruation, others may prefer to delegate these conversations to a female relative. The key is to make sure the information is relayed somehow.

Change can be scary
The changes associated with puberty are exciting, but they can also be a little scary. Reassure your daughter that although most girls feel a little apprehensive about starting menstruation, it’s really nothing to be too worried about. Menstruating is just a normal part of growing up.

Openly discussing menstruation and sexuality will let your daughter know that you’re available to answer other questions she may have as she grows and matures.

Courtesy article provided by www.mayoclinic.com